Vaccinated, Beat and 4/22 Focus on Ferlinghetti

Hi, friends! It's been an eventful past week. On Wednesday the 14th I drove to Hartville to receive my second Covid-19 vaccine shot. I experienced a little soreness in my arm and a slight malaise the next day, but it was not as bad as it was after my first shot last month (and that wasn't so bad either).

On the 17th, I had the honor of reading online with several Beat Poets Laureate for National Poetry Month (hosted by the National Beat Poetry Foundation). I led off the event and shared four poems: "Will (or a Way of Heming)," "Flagging," "Disciples" and "Random Rules." Then poets David K. Leff, William F. DeVault, Tammi Truax, Leo Jarret, Virginia Shreve and Ernel Grant followed, all with strong performances. Thank you to all who attended! If you missed it (or want to watch again), the NBPF plans to post video on their YouTube page in the next week or so.

I'm still doing a lot fewer events than usual, due to the pandemic. But I have one more coming up this month. On Thursday 22 April at 8 p.m. Eastern, I will participate in Focus on Ferlinghetti, a tribute to the late great Lawrence, hosted by Joliet Junior College and Bill Yarrow. Besides Bill and me, the other writers who will share include Mike Hainzinger, Pam Miller, John Raffetto, Joani Reese, and Bud Smith. This is a free event. Click here to register.

Short term memory, long term to-do lists

my folder of to-do lists

My folder full of to-do lists runneth over. I've been having some concerning short-term memory issues lately, hence my recent round of neuro testing. There's a good chance it could just be as simple as me not getting adequate rest (apnea is a likely candidate, but I'm awaiting final results) - although I do obsess about the remote possibility of Alzheimer's, especially since DNA testing reveals that I have a gene that makes me more susceptible to that as I age. No matter how hard I work each day to get things done, fulfill commitments and cross things off these many lists, it seems that every day I acquire even more things to do. Although much (most) of these are things I love to do, it can become a bit overwhelming at times. Especially concerning to me is that there are several cases recently where I say I'll do things that are important or interesting to me and if I don't write them down (maybe I'm driving - or I'm somewhere without my lists folder) I totally forget until something unrelated (or the person I never got back to) reminds me. For this reason, I'm going to have to start saying no to more things. I will still fulfill my current commitments (including several events coming up, poems I've committed to writing, two presses I've promised to put together manuscripts of my writing for, and 14 titles to publish in my Crisis Chronicles Press queue, as well as catching up on updating the online Cleveland literary calendar). But other than that, I'm going to try to say no to any new commitments at least through the winter, by which time I'll be more caught up and have much less to keep track of. If I was supposed to do something for you and it hasn't happened yet, there is a high likelihood that you're on one of these lists, in which case it will get done as soon as I can. There's also a possibility that, despite how important it was to me at the time, it somehow slipped through the cracks and I forgot to write it down or get back to you, in which case I hope you will be gentle and forgive me. I won't be offended if you send me a reminder. Maybe I'll feel self-conscious about this post (I kinda already do) and delete it soon. But since Facebook asked what's on my mind, that's some of it. Now, it's back to work for me!

Neuro testing today, Fountainverse (KC Small Press Poetry Fest) this weekend & Juliet Cook book release 10/16

Before my EEG at the Cleveland Clinic today

Lodgings confirmed for Fountainverse: KC Small Press Poetry Fest this weekend in Missouri! I was unsure until the last minute whether I would actually be able to go because I needed to get Juliet Cook's book done before I left and I've had a packed past few weeks. But we're on track and it's all good. I won't get results for today's neuro testing until the end of the month. Heading out of town tomorrow and coming back Monday. Hope to see you either this weekend in Kansas City or this Tuesday 10/16 at Art on Madison in Lakewood, Ohio, for Poetry Plus Featuring Juliet Cook, where Crisis Chronicles Press will release her highly-anticipated second full-length poetry collection, Malformed Confetti.

Still Alive

selfie 2/25/2017

Early yesterday morning, I dreamt Geri was still alive in the hospital. Someone had made a mistake. I went to see her and she was fine and in good spirits, wondering where I'd been. I told her we thought she had died, that we'd even had a funeral and everything. "Really?" she asked, incredulous. Waking up felt less real than my dream.

Give Me Healthcare or Give Me Death

Today I attended a Resistance Recess National Day of Action event in front of Congressman Jim Renacci's Parma office. Thanks to Sarah Keiser Scott for snapping this photo of me.

Wanna get involved?  Follow the Cuyahoga County Progressive Caucus here.

Geri Lynne Burroughs

Around 6:20 on Wednesday morning, February 8th, I received a call from the Cleveland Clinic saying Geri's heart had stopped and they were trying to resuscitate her. I sped to the hospital and when I arrived I learned that they were unsuccessful. Just the day before the doctors had seemed so certain she would be fine. I've been wanting to write more but I have more tears than words. 

We will receive guests from 6 to 7 pm on Monday February 13th at Laubenthal-Mercado funeral home, 38475 Chestnut Ridge Road, Elyria, Ohio 44035, right down the street from where I grew up. Memorial service will follow at 7 pm. And then I'm gonna hibernate for a while.

http://www.chroniclet.com/obituaries/2017/02/10/Geri-Lynne-Burroughs.html

Thank you so much to everyone who has been so kind and supportive to our family and me. Love to you.

Heartbroken,
John

Third time on the ventilator

Through her sputum culture they've finally identified the specific staph infection that's been causing Geri's pneumonia. This strain is resistant to the antibiotics they've been treating her with, which explains why she's not gotten better. So they've switched to a medication that targets that specific strain. Meanwhile, at 6:40 am, I got a call from the ICU doctor saying they needed to intubate her again. Despite accelerated diuresis, her lungs kept filling with fluid, and days of breathing difficulty were putting undue strain on her heart. Now with the machine breathing for her, her heart rate and blood pressure have normalized. It will likely take several days, but we expect this new medication will finally knock out her pneumonia.

Oh, Bummer (Healthcare)

We found out today that to get back on my wife's health insurance will only cost me a little over $950 a month. That's more than double what I paid for it in 2015. Good thing I have Obamacare to fall back on.
 
But interestingly, although it would cost us $950-ish to insure me, it only costs us around $350 to ensure my wife under the same plan, despite the fact that she's had far more health problems than I. So at least the one of us who needs it most is getting it.

Weekend update - 6 January 2017

Geri is in Interventional Radiology to have the current, weeks-old dialysis catheter that's been coming out of her neck replaced with a new one that'll come out of her chest. Her new liver is working great. But prior to transplant she developed what appears to be hepato-renal syndrome, so it's taking some time for her kidneys to get back up to speed. Meanwhile, the other main thing we need to work on is getting her up and walking after being essentially bedridden for about three months. Physical and occupational therapy (and her doctors) have recommended that she go to the Cleveland Clinic's own acute rehab center in the next day or so, but first we need insurance approval. Yesterday, Medical Mutual denied it was necessary. But this is the same insurance company that tried at first to claim she didn't need hospitalized the last two times (though she would've died if she hadn't gone).  Their motto seems to be "Reject first, then finally actually consider the claim after it's appealed." So the appeal conference is this morning and I'm optimistic we'll get it resolved.

UPDATE a couple hours later: She's approved for one week of acute rehab. They'll extend it if she makes good progress.  So we'll be heading to M80 later today.

Best day in a while

Best day yet for Geri! She's been in the hospital since November, got her liver transplant on 22 December, and continues to improve. We learned today that she'll be heading to rehab by the end of this week and hopefully home soon after. Happy new year!

New Liver

After my last blog posting, things moved rather quickly.  Within hours of Geri being reactivated on the liver transplant list, she received a liver offer.  After a long night and next day of waiting, she was finally ushered to the operating room at 3 a.m. on December 22nd.  The seven hour surgery was a success.  We had hoped she'd be out of ICU within a day, but the docs needed to fine tune some things first. 

Meanwhile, on the evening of the 26th, Geri's vehicle lost its front driver-side corner.  I dropped it off at Progressive early this morning. It will take about a week to fix and cost us a $1000 deductible.

Finally, to make a long story short, here's what I posted on Facebook a couple of hours ago (evening of the 28th):

Been a couple more long days at the hospital. Was here till midnight last night - had gone home at 8 but had to come back because Geri wouldn't take her medications for anyone but me. But slow and steady progress continues. Tonight she finally made it out of ICU to the transplant special care floor, one step closer to returning home.

Santa putting a liver in Geri's stocking?

The infectious disease doctor and anesthesiologist have cleared Geri for transplant. Her breathing is much better than yesterday. The kidney doctor is gonna switch her from continual to intermittent dialysis. And they're starting some mild physical therapy. All good news. But the biggest news is that the liver fellow was just in and said they're gonna try to have her relisted by this evening and because her meld score is so high, there is a chance she could get a liver by Christmas, or soon after.

A few very kind friends of ours have expressed a willingness to serve as a living donor, for which we are grateful beyond the best words I can muster. But we haven't been able to follow up because both the Clinic and her insurance wanted Geri to be active on the transplant list before starting the screening process. However, now it's looking like she will get a liver from a deceased donor faster.

As I was writing this, a transplant surgeon came in and gave her the final good-to-go. So she'll definitely be relisted today.

We are amazed by your extraordinary kindness and generosity. Lots going on here, so I'll try to catch up with personal messages later. <3

Progress

c. 10 a.m.:

Her breathing tube came out yesterday. Lots of progress since. Lots of different doctors coming in and out today to assess and clear her. They just did a CT scan of her chest. And if everything checks out she could be reactivated on the transplant list as soon as tomorrow. We're most grateful for your kindness, concern and good wishes.

c. 5 p.m.:

Update: CT shows she has a pleural effusion around her right lung, so they're doing a thoracentesis to drain that. But we're still on track. Only awaiting clearance from one more doctor, the transplant anaesthesiologist.

She's Awake

Got a call from Geri's nurse at 5:45 a.m. She said that after a night of dialysis she's almost totally awake for the first time in around a week. Of course she can't talk because she still has the breathing tube in. But she was trying to tell them something, so they gave her a dry erase board and asked her what she wanted. She wrote, "John."

Uremia

The doctors have identified a likely culprit: uremia. Because of impaired kidney function, she has high urea levels in her blood. This can deactivate platelets, causing unusual bleeding, and can also make her extremely drowsy and out of it. The doctors are optimistic that by doing some short-term dialysis, they can reduce the urea and solve both her bleeding and her consciousness issues, allowing them to take her off the ventilator and get her reactivated on the liver transplant list soon.

If it ain't one thing...

Lots of ups and down this past week. Last Thursday we thought they were releasing Geri to a rehab facility, Friday she went back to ICU with breathing difficulties. Sunday and Monday she was largely unconscious. Tuesday she seemed to be coming out of it but then she started choking on blood and had to be put on a breathing machine to protect her airway. Today they were planning to extubate her because she can't be reactivated on the liver transplant list until she's off the machine. But that didn't happen because they need to work on her clotting issues, deal with some declining kidney function issues and get her more conscious first. That's making a long, extremely complicated story as short as possible. Everytime I go to post an update, something changes. Thanks for all your best wishes and support.

Back to ICU (again)

Yesterday, we thought Geri might be going to a rehab facility by Monday. But today they're working on sending her back to ICU instead. Her difficulty breathing increased overnight. Fluid has been reaccumulating in the pleural area around her lung, so she needs another thoracentesis to drain it. But paradoxically they also need to give her fluid to increase her very low calcium level. Everything is a delicate balance. They can monitor and fine tune it more closely in ICU.

Updating Yesterday's Update

Well, yesterday when we were told she had no more infection in her lungs, what they were referring to was bacterial infection. Another doctor came in this morning and said it appears she has a yeast infection in her lungs. He said when they take the samples via bronchoscopy to see what grows in them, it takes longer to see a fungus (which is slower growing) than it does bacteria or viruses. So they didn't detect yeast until today.

And as this photo of today's board in her room shows, the docs are always working on multiple things at once.

Weekend Update 10/28/2016

Self Portrait 10/27/2016

So far this morning I've washed dishes, seen a good interview with David Crosby on Morning Joe and now we're waiting for Geri's visiting nurse, who will be followed by her physical therapist. Saturday, if life cooperates, I'll be part of Linda's Good Eggs: Arts Benefit For Ovarian Cancer Research in Erie, Pennsylvania, and then Sunday at noon I'll be giving my last Cleveland area reading/performance for the foreseeable future during Author Author at the Coffee Phix Cafe in South Euclid. Hopefully at some point this weekend I'll get to work on some Crisis Chronicles Press stuff before the Cleveland Clinic grind resumes on Monday. What are you up to, friends?

Cold, Cold, Art

15 titles Crisis Chronicles has published so far in 2015

I first started feeling like I was getting sick on November 5th.  The next day, though Geri and I had tickets to see Sun Ra Arkestra, I was coughing so badly we decided to stay home.  On the morning of the 7th, feeling slightly better, thinking it was just a quickie cold, and not wanting to cancel on another poetry event this year, I medicated myself, loaded my pockets with cough drops, and somehow made it through Meet the Presses in Toledo and the Ultimate Artist Extravaganza in Detroit.  I got home at 3 a.m. after that and within 24 hours was feeling much worse.

Two weeks later, my cough was still going, more intense, and Geri was concerned I had pneumonia, so I let myself get talked into going to the doctor on the 18th.  The doc said it didn't sound like pneumonia and was most likely bronchitis.  She started me on a 10-day course of antibiotics and some codeine-infused cough syrup to help me sleep without coughing.  Between those and Mucinex I began to cough up so much stuff that I couldn't believe there was that much down there.  I felt like it was working, and I was assured that by this point I probably wasn't contagious anymore, so I medicated myself and went ahead and performed during Soul Speak at the Lorain Arts Council.  But I only shared three poems because I was sure if I read another I'd go off on another hard-to-stop coughing jag.

By the end of November I had completed my antibiotics and thought the worst was behind me though I was still coughing constantly.  I'd wake up every morning and feel improved.  But by each afternoon, I'd be coughing away again.  Then I developed an excruciating pain in my side.  It felt like kidney stones, but wasn't in the same place my last case of stones was.  After a few days it didn't get better, and I could hardly concentrate on work because of the pain, and we still weren't sure I didn't have pneumonia, so I went back to the doctor on December 2nd.  She wasn't sure what the cause was.  Pneumonia was a possibility.  Or maybe I cracked a rib or pulled something coughing, or it was my liver.  She sent me for a chest x-ray and abdominal ultrasound.

Good news: the x-ray and ultrasound are normal, so the doctor believes it's just a muscular issue caused by the coughing.  When I quit coughing it should soon go away.  Meanwhile, I'm still coughing, but not as intensely and uncontrollably as I was.  My nose is still plugged up and I can only sit in my office chair for so long before the pain in my side becomes unbearable again (it eases up a bit when I stand or lie down).  Meanwhile, December 5th will mark exactly one month since this started.

However, though I'm working in slow motion I did get two Crisis Chronicles Press chapbooks published in November.  It wasn't the four I intended.  But I expect to get at least two more published in December. Wish me luck. 

P.S.  From now until Christmas you can get a sweet deal on all 15 books pictured above. $75 for the lot.  They are:

CC058 - Poems for Explosion by John G Hall
CC059 - Ohio Triangle by Alex Gildzen
CC063 - #ThisIsCLE: An Anthology of the 2014 Best Cleveland Poem Competition
CC064 - Be Closer for My Burn by Robin Wyatt Dunn
CC065 - Cutting the Möbius by Jonathan Thorn
CC066 - Thunderclap Amen by Dianne Borsenik
CC067 - Bookmobile: From the Library of Jesus Crisis by David S Pointer
CC068 - Balefire by Susan Sheppard
CC069 - 2015 Hessler Street Fair Poetry Anthology
CC070 - Matilda's Battle Waltz by Tracie Morell
CC071 - Readings / The Road: Two Poems from Euclid Creek Book Three by Michael Ceraolo
CC072 - Ghost on the Inside by John Dorsey
CC073 - Contents Under Pressure by Kevin Ridgeway
CC074 - Drink Drank Drunk by Bradford Middleton
CC075 - This Frankenstein Union by Esteban Colon